Butts By Danna: Chronicles of Bryker Woods Elementary Teacher Fitness: July 2012

Yes, it's true. I'm a newbie. Just joined the teacher workout group in June after much encouragement, er, threats by my dear friend Kay. I've eschewed it up to this point for various reasons that mostly center on laziness. Summertime and the promise of a butt like Danna's convinced me that Kay was right. Best to get some cardio action going in addition to the pensive daily walks around the lake in my beloved Mueller community. Best to sweat a little, well, a lot, with friends.

Then AISD inflicted the dreaded July austerity measures on our group. Dee tried to convince them to leave the AC on just during our workouts. No. No. No. She pleaded, she reasoned and argued that teacher fitness is inherently good and a compelling reason to leave the AC on. No. Austerity must reign even at the expense of quality air. I mean, really, when you go on vacation, do you turn everything off? Isn't that a prime condition for mold growth? No amount of begging would sway the higher ups. Off with the AC. So the workout was like one long hot flash. Not quite as bad as bikram yoga, and there was the occasional breeze. I actually don't mind heat so long as I can wear very little. Thank goodness we are all friends.

We showed up, we worked out. We dripped sweat on the already highly seasoned blue mats. We mopped ourselves repeatedly with towels from home. We drank water in between curls, squats, lunges, and laps. We laughed about it, and the complaints, though many, were in good fun. Danna allowed that her boxing gym never has AC. So we just kept going until it was time to hobble weakly back into our air conditioned lives.

We thought that would be the worst of it. Oh, mais non!!

Today we arrived at 9:15 to be greeted by a sight that made all of our jaws drop in unison. At least half of the floor area was covered by huge sheets of plywood, some encased in a strange silver material. There was a huge machine, looked like a kind of forklift right smack where we normally do stations. Long, boa like cords were scattered everywhere! Boxes of florescent lights lined the walls. What the heck?

At first, someone suggested we just walk. No. That wouldn't do. We must keep going! We must work out. I wanted to pack it in and go walk the lake. I thought there was bad juju just looking at all that stuff! Where was the peace and opportunity for reflection? I am already disgusted by the insect parts that are sprinkled hither and yon in varying states of decay, impossible to ignore during push ups. Also, it was hot, darn hot. Why not just escape? No. Not to be. We must keep going. We must work out. Unfettered, Danna led us through our normal routines.

We dodged the machine, stepped lightly from one surface to another, avoided the menacing cords as thick and long as cobras. We laughed and mopped the sweat, took sips of tepid water. I wondered if anyone would notice if I escaped. Of course they would because we were so few today with many regulars traveling or getting scoped. Inspired by Kay, Jean & Trisha and under the ever patient guidance of Danna, we suffered through and lived to tell about it.

Later I emailed Dee whilst on her way to Hot Springs to give her the scoop. Impressed by our bravery, she suggested we chronicle our brush with death on this blog.

Nice release to process the ordeal by writing about it. It worked for the Donner Party, right? The horror! The danger! The perfect storm caused by extreme discomfort, unsightly and hazardous equipment not to mention body bending planks and airplanes! Only now am I able to regain the calm I usually feel. Monday we will return and thrive in the relative calm and cool of the library while they finish doing whatever they are doing. There's also the promise of a freshly cleaned gym, too, since it's on Miss Linda's list of things to do next week. I'll miss the bond-creating austerity but not the insect parts.